Our summer bubble is officially gone and life hasn't quite amped up to full speed so I have a little time to blog. I often think about sending a little shout out to my mom and brother via a blog post.
The boys are at baseball. Sister is preoccupied. I can sit by myself and tell you about silencing crazy. You know crazy, RIGHT? She's the chick in my head that says really mean (and sometimes inappropriate) things. She was pretty quiet all summer. I was able to lose a little weight over the summer and I kinda hoped that I starved her to death.... NOPE. She was just waiting to catch me off guard.
So, I sat in my chair. Quiet-timing my little heart out. On consecutive days... (what??) Feeling positive and good. Got my day going with Jesus. Ready to take it all on. And then WHAM. Crazy woke from her summer slumber and picked up right where she left off. She said all those mean things that make me feel inadequate and not good enough and just plain old crappy.
Next morning...back at being quiet-timey like a good girl. But NOT feeling it. I started in on God. Why did you make me this way? Why do I constantly struggle with this? Why oh why? I can not possibly be used by You if I can't silence Crazy.
LUCKILY God already knows crazy and came to my rescue. I'm confident that the time I have spent in the word and the things I have learned this summer have retrained my brain to go to HIM.
A big shout out to Jen Hatmaker (www.jenhatmaker.com) and find her on facebook... for her book A Modern Girl's Guide to Bible Study.
That's fancy photography when you use your feet to hold something up.
This particular morning I was told by Jen (Mrs. Hatmaker, I promise it's a very respectful first name basis) to turn to Isaiah 45:8-12. I don't know about you but I wasn't really feeling Old Testament-y. I needed 1 Corinthians love and encouragement. Thank goodness He knows what I really need.
8 "Open up, O heavens, and pour our your righteousness.
Let the earth open wide so salvation and righteousness can sprout up together.
I, The Lord, created them.
9 "What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator.
Does a clay pot argue with its maker?
Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying,
'Stop, you're doing it wrong!'
Does the pot exclaim, 'How clumsy can you be?'
10 How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father,
'Why was I born?'
or if it said to its mother, 'Why did you make me this way?'"
11 This is what The Lord says-
the Holy One of Israel and your Creator:
"Do you question what I do for my children?
Do you give me orders about the work of my hands?
12 I am the one who made the earth and created people to live on it.
With my hands I stretched out the heavens.
All the stars are at my command.
HUH? Okay. Jen says to read it again. (I honestly read it about 5 times and read foot notes to figure out what the heck i was supposed to "glean from this passage"... God is speaking to the Israelites and reminding them that He is the Sovereign God. He set the earth in motion. Who do they think they arecriticizing and questioning who he appointed as king?
Then it hit me. God made the earth and ME. Who am I to question the way that He made me? He made me perfect for my purpose. He made you perfect for your purpose! My "joke" is that God made me perfect, He just got a little off with His measurements. (Isn't this what the Israelites were doing? Kinda?)
God is preparing excellent things. I have no idea what Crazy has to do with it other than breaking me with her mean words so that the Creator could remind me...
Do you trust that He loves you and made you for a reason with a clear calling on your life? YES!! So whatever that is - it's perfect according to His will and plan.
For me, it was nice to hear Him and to have Crazy silenced.
Joyfully full of it!