Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Not so Little anymore...

My little man is not so little anymore. My beautiful boy is struggling with something right now. I don't know what it is and his daddy and I are D.O.N.E. with the disrespect and horrible attitude that has taken over my sweet man. My fix-it nature is deflated and at a loss. God is working hard on my family... painful forward steps and we are facing Armageddon during this growing and learning process. The pain he has in his heart and the crazy words that must be swimming around in his head are making this momma so sad and my heart aches for his heart.
So today I just need to see this face happy.

 Or giggling with his sister
 Even that "hurry up mom" smile would be good.
 I thought that I would iphone dump and find those pictures of him being the beautiful sweet boy that I know. I have a feeling that the review of these pictures will become more and more necessary as we venture into the teen years. And I'm pretty positive the acceptability of having his sister in his lap at chuck.e.cheese will soon be a sweet moment from the past.
 Because he is getting BIG. He's 9. On the cusp of his teens. He's responsible and smart and wants so badly to be a big boy. 
 And he is such a big boy.  

The second love of my life. I have loved this face from the moment I first saw it. And I love this face when it is staring back at me and his words match the hate that I see on his face. And I will continue to love this boy through all this hard stuff. And we will make it through this hard stuff. 

I know that my Jesus loves him more that I could ever imagine. My Jesus died for this little boy and knew that we would face these hard times. And My Jesus knows why my little man's heart is aching and HE alone is the one that can make it whole.

So, I'll sit and wait. And PRAY. And love. And discipline. And cry.
And be the momma that he needs for the minute and change to whatever it is he needs the next.
And then we will read our book, go to bed, and thank God that we made it to the end of the day.
And we will wake up and start all over again.

Heavenly Father, 
Thank you so much for blessing me with my children. Thank you for Michael. Thank you for his sweet heart. Thank you for loving him more than me and for watching him as he grows. Show me how to be his mom. Teach me to love him and give me wisdom to parent him so that we pass through this phase and successfully take on the next one. I am so glad you have our family covered and protected. Your love and patience and mercy amazes me. Give me the courage to be patient and merciful and just with my children. And renew my strength daily so that I can love my babies with my whole heart and show them your love by my actions and hugs. In you son's forgiving and precious name. Amen.

Joyfully struggling to parent.....


1 comment:

  1. Raising children in today's world is so very hard! I am so proud of your going to the source of all wisdom for the struggles with my grandboy! James 1:5 If anyone lack wisdom let him ask of God who gives more than enough without regret. Praying daily!